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Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Food for thought...

This morning I started out with an awful headache.
My head felt foggy and my eyes were dry and sunken. I felt the greatest need to have a sweet coffee.
And so I did.The pleasure was instant and I was momentarily gratified.
The thumping headache faded to a dull ache and I started about my morning routine grumbling under my breath.

An hour later and I sat dejected on the sofa, staring out at the lovely day from my comfort spot.

I was in a real slump. No motivation, no interest in lifting a finger, no nothing.

I wondered why only yesterday I had looked so forward to today, where I could write for hours uninterrupted. probably go for a long walk, even do some gardening or painting and maybe finish the day with a lovely meal and a good film.

But instead I sat there, like a beached whale.

And you know what? I knew exactly why and the coffee wasn't helping, albeit it being a very pleasant short pleasure. Below is a great article on the hidden dangers of caffeine.
http://www.naturalnews.com/012352.html

I also thought back on what I had eaten yesterday, not my norm, but an unusual treat, bread lots of it. Yummy but unfortunately very tiring on my system.
After the initial sugar rush, there is always a slump, this I knew, but I munched down all the same.
Pretty similar to the coffee now, uuumm.

Okay, okay, I'm not perfect. Even I slip up at times!

So...what now?

I could have sat there all day, to be perfectly honest, but you know what the funny thing was?
It was only when I gave myself permission to do so, if I so wished, without any guilt attached,
that the feeling of lethargy started to melt away.

I closed my eyes for five minutes, thought about the benefit of going for a brisk walk to clear my head, and how invigorated and positive I would feel on my return.

Next thing I knew, I was up and out there, amidst the warm breeze and the changing colors,
and I felt good!

It's quite simple really, feed your mind the right stuff, physically and mentally and you will get a much better outcome.

I like to feed my mind with prose such as this...

http://www.jamesfedordesign.com/artprint01_souls_song.htm


My saying, weird and all, is....

Change what your mind feasts on, and in so doing..... change what your mind feasts on.

Think about it, and while your thinking get out there! (-:

Danielle x

For more information and ideas on how to lead an inspired life,
call me on 0863845299 or email me at neurocombatives@gmail.com


Friday, 27 July 2012

A child in a womans body....

She is gangly. Long limbed - all arms and legs....
She reminds me of an young gazelle, still uncertain of her movement and how to master it.
Yet, she is eighteen. A woman now and outwardly so.
Waved raven locks flow over her cappuccino colored skin. Chocolate doe eyes stare at me in adoration. Curves in all the right places.
Yet, inwardly still a child, at least in my eyes.

She is like Pocahontas.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocahontas

She is beautiful.

She is my sister.

And she has come to stay with me for the summer, now that she is 'old' enough.

Just like Pocahontas, my sister is also one of 'two nations' as they say.
My mother is Irish and hers is from Mauritius however we share the same father, a handsome man from Rome.

We also share a lot more.

We share a love of singing at the top of our voices in the car, not caring what the nearby commuters think.
We share a love of writing and creating. Our evenings are shared listening to inspiring music while our fingers pitter-patter over the keys.
We share the same compulsion to pick up every snail from the path so that it does not get crushed.
We share the same socks, as her's unfathomably disappear night after night in the Bermuda triangle of the bed.
We share the same blood.
We share our unquestionable love for each other because blood is thicker then water.

She robs my hairbrush (as is her right to do being my sis) and brushes out her tossed curls.

'Sis' she says sleepily, definitely not being a morning person. 'What will we do today?'
She asks this with the hope and excitement of a little girl.
I sip my coffee and watch her, noting how none of the weight of the world has as yet landed on her soft shoulders. I think of ways to keep it so, to protect her for what is to come.

Yet, it is only through adversity that we truly learn, isn't it?

As the great African American educator, Booker T. Washington said,



"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles overcome while trying to succeed." 







So, this young girl, with the body of a woman will have to overcome her own obstacles.
Many of them without my help. I can of course help guide her and I do.

I will tell her all I have learned and show her how she can be in control of her own destiny, decision making and choices.
Choices such as deciding her own bedtime so she feels alert in the morning.
Deciding what she wants to eat and the healthiest options for herself.
Choosing what to spend her money on and is it wise or not.
Choosing her future career and is it what she truly wants to do.

Some of her choices may turn out not to have been the most beneficial, but she will still have learned valuable lessons.

I instill purpose and value into her day by challenging her to 13 Tasks she must complete by nightfall. Good deeds. Something that is beneficial to others. I know it is benefiting her also.
She runs off delighted with this idea.
Teenagers need a purpose, just like the rest of us to feel motivated as this informative article concurs
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201106/what-teens-learn-overcoming-challenges

She wants to travel the world, who am I to stop her. I can only teach, inform and educate.
Then the rest is up to her. The decisions are hers.
I advice and alert her of the possible dangers out there, while still wanting to maintain her innocent excitement at life. I don't want to stifle that.

Her innocence is what makes her most beautiful.
She loves everyone and is deeply hurt if people do not reciprocate.

How do I protect her from that?

I guess all I can do is be there for her when inevitably she will be faced with some disappointment.

I will be there to offer her another outlook and perspective
and of course an ever loving shoulder,

always.

That's what 'big sis' is for,
 
Danielle x 

If you want to talk more about decision making or growing up, call me on 0863845299
email me at neurocombatives@gmail.com








Thursday, 26 July 2012

Are you a 'tryer' ???

  A teeny weeny three letter word but a powerful one all the same....

We use it day in day out, most of us not even aware of how much.
It is simply a figure of speech that we use - a habit.
A habit that unfortunately can have a very negative impact on our lives without us realizing it.
The problem with the word 'try', is that it has 'failure' already presupposed in it.


How beneficial has 'trying' been for you in the past?
The actual 'trying', not the 'doing'. I'm not talking about 'doing' something and it not working out how you hoped. That is doing and learning.

Think of this...
If I asked you, now as you read this, to try and close your eyes, actually closing your eyes would be doing, but trying to close your eyes, would imply they are still open.
So now you see my point, yea? (-:

As an NLP Practitioner I am fully aware of the influence the words I use have on my unconscious.
In fact, most of our actions and in actions are ruled by what we say to ourselves and others, and what our unconscious picks up from these words.

So, when it hears us use the word 'try', what it actually picks up from this is 'I don't really believe'.

An example would be,  
'I will try and get better at this'. 
What I am really saying is, I’m not committed. It's really an excuse, as in ‘Well, I only said I’d try!' This works the exact same way when thinking to yourself. 'I will have to try and lose weight,' it would be much more useful if replaced with 'I will loose weight'.


The use of the word 'try' affects us on an emotional and unconscious level. Particularly from someone we see as an authority figure, like your parents, teacher, etc. When they asked you to 'try' something, it planted a seed of doubt in our mind and conveys to your unconscious 'I don’t believe in' or 'trust you'.


Instead of trying to be more aware of the words you use,
just be aware of them more and more.
So, instead of trying to utilize this concept, how about just using it instead?


To all your 'doing'!
Danielle x
0863845299
email me on neurocombatives@gmail.com
www.mindart.ning.com

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Have you got what it takes to be a Super Hero?...

Most of us have had, 
at one point or another, 
a favorite 
Super Hero....

Whatever ridiculous costume or colored spandex they wore,
did not matter.

What mattered was how we felt when we were in their company.
Whether sitting cross legged,
our breaths steaming up the television screen in our anticipation, or flicking gleefully through our prized comic book,the overriding message was always one of  
self belief, hope and good overcoming evil.

There have been many Super Hero's out there, created by the optimistic minds of people just like you or I.
Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, the list is endless....

Let's take Superman. How did the story go?

He was shipped to earth alone, from another planet.
So he started off feeling like an outsider. Have you ever felt like that?

He grew up feeling different, hiding his unusual traits, attempting to muffle his hidden talents and uniqueness, in the fear that others would think him strange. Have you ever done this?

Some other people, (the villains) when discovering this uniqueness, started to bully him, due to his 'differences' frightening them and it not complying with their set of rules and agenda.

You can see where this is going (-:


After a period of turmoil and angst he realized 
that he had been given a gift.
And this gift could help change the world for the better. 
So he decided to use it.


Have you got similar gifts?



Let's look at his bright 'costume' as his outward persona.

Have you got access and resources for putting on a bright 'costume' also? Have you developed your own brand or identity?
In other words has life taught you some skills you could use in how you communicate with others and the best way to achieve the results you desire? Has your 'costume' got the power say, to convince people to follow you so that you can help them to a better environment?
Have you developed a magnetic personality?

If we look at Superman, he was magnetic, confident, charming and charismatic when in his 'costume'.
But he also knew when it was best just to blend in and simply be Clark Kent.
His ability to adapt to the situation, depending on the task at hand and who he was dealing with meant was part of how he became a super leader, role model and hero.
Have you learned how to adapt also?

His determination and drive and a clear goal of where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do, was probably the strongest gift he had. Without a clear vision of what he wanted to achieve he would never have been able to achieve it.
Do you have a clear vision and goal as to what you want to achieve?

If not, this is the first and most important step in becoming a Super Hero.

Close you eyes right now and visualize what you would like to achieve.
Imagine yourself there, now, in this enviroment, having suceeded in your goals.
What does the scene look like around you?
What do you hear?
What can you smell, feel, taste?
How does it make you feel?

Super! You have now taken the first step and neuro wired your unconscious,
your biggest super power at your disposal, to lead you on the path towards your goal.

My goal is a big one. To help change the world for the better.
Some of the 'villains' may laugh and even try to destroy me,
and be warned, they will probably have a go at you too once they know you are accessing your super powers, but be strong and hold firm and keep on that path.

One of my favorite childhood hero's was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz,

I loved her and her clumsy entourage of unusual friends she met along her journey.
It was not until the end of the fantastical journey, that they discover they all already possess
all the virtues that they had been so desperately searching for.
She didn't have to run away to find her heart's desire.


Like Dorothy, I am now clicking my magical heels and making my dreams come true.

Now go put on your heels, your cloak or whatever it may be and start using those super powers!

Danielle x
00 393 (0)863845299
neurocombatives@gmail.com
www.mindart.ning.com










Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Are you sure you are uncertain?

Uncertainty

Wikipedia says of 'Uncertainty'....  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty
The lack of certainty, A state of having limited knowledge where it is impossible to exactly describe the existing state, a future outcome, or more than one possible outcome.

Well, do we actually ever have real certainty?
Or is it all an illusion?
What I mean is, the actual facts....
Over the years many things we believed were 'certain', turned out later to be untrue.

Many old civilizations believed that an eclipse was a demon eating the sun. Their wise leaders were certain that the best way to get rid of the “demon” consuming their sun was to unite and make as much noise as possible to scare it away by banging drums and shouting as loudly as possible.



We believed with the guidance and advice of learned men that the earth was flat.

Thales of Miletus, the first recorded expert opinion of electricity and magnetism, said loadstone attracts iron because it has a soul.The prevailing view then became that movement of any kind indicated life, or a soul, or a god.

Benjamin believed that the bigger the coin was, the more it was worth.                     http://www.iusedtobelieve.com/the_world/

Many of us believed a white bearded man, with a big belly and a red coat, flew around the whole world in one night, zipping down chimneys to leave presents under the tree for us all.

 A doctor in Ireland might say if you have a heart condition,
don't drink any coffee
but an Italian one may say have five at the maximum!

In other words, our influences in these beliefs were many. From 'wise' men to doctors, to scientists and philosophers.
Our parents, family, friends, teachers and all around us, helped to shape and mold our concepts, opinions and beliefs.

What I am asking is therefore is,
can we ever really be certain?

Everyday there are new discoveries and old truths being proved as un-truths.

Everyday we are letting go of some old beliefs.

We grow up and find out the truth about Santa, we discover where babies really come from and that money doesn't  in fact grow on trees -  

We learn through learning....
That learning to ride a bike, even though at first it's scary, it is fun.
That learning to drive is very useful.
That learning to read can be a great source of joy.
That learning is a good thing.


That to learn you have to take risks and sometimes even do things that might 
at first seem impossible.

That the clear certainty that you now have that something is 'impossible' might actually be untrue.

So be a little uncertain, no harm in that, but just go do it anyway!

You just might prove yourself wrong!




To all your marvelous uncertainty's and new discoveries,

Danielle x 

For help in overcoming your fear in uncertainty call 0863845299
or email me at neurocombative@gmail.com 

Monday, 23 July 2012

Following in the Dodo's foot steps...

It has been widely assumed that the Dodo bird became flightless, mainly because of abundant food sources and not too many predators on the island of Mauritius where it once lived. Then, after it had lost its ability to fly, it was sadly preyed upon by hungry sailors, their domesticated animals, and other invasive speciesintroduced to the little island during that time. 
Their extinction was slow, uneventful and not immediately noticed....
the only prevailing memory and its well known reputation, is that of it being a little dim.



I wonder are some of us following 
the Dodo's path?

Is our greed and comfort in the familiar and the abundantly disposable, clouding our judgement and ability to spot the the clear signs of our destruction?

Has what is safe and familiar to us 
become our imminent downfall?

Are our comfortable surroundings slowly clipping away at our wings 
and our ability to soar?





Our actions and this includes our in- actions, always have consequences, so...
pay careful attention to where your life is leading you.

If you don't want to follow the Dodo's path,
step out of the familiar, spread your wings and explore all the amazing abundance that the rest of this world has to offer also...

To your flight!
Danielle x 

For more advise on how to soar high call me on 086-3845299
or email neurocombatives@gmail.com 

Saturday, 21 July 2012

The 'No, cant do' kid...

The 'No can't do' kid...


Once upon a time...
growing up in the dusty, crowded, back streets of an ordinary city, there was a little boy.


This boy had the most incredible, piercing blue eyes and adorable dimples in his cheeks, that you would just love to squeeze!
Every time his parents pulled him along through the busy shops, people would stop and stare and tell them what an absolutely gorgeous little kid they had.

One part about this story (as it is unfortunately not your typical fairy tale) is that his mum and dad, for some sad reason (which is a whole other story) did not know or have the ability to be able to appreciate what an amazing, unique and special little boy they had brought into the world.

They would drag him along, muttering under their breath what a nuisance and attention seeker he was, (even though he had actually not attempted to do anything).
When the coast was clear and nobody was watching, he would reliably receive an unwanted present of a clout around the ear, for the 'inconvenience' he had caused.

So, as time passed....... 
he started to look down towards his grubby shoes, hiding his sparkling eyes under thick lashes,
In fact, it was even a lot worse then this, because the older the boy became, and the more he could communicate and be independent, the more his parents seemed to want to stifle him. 
They started to take their inner anger and turmoil out on him more and more.
 

'You are such a nuisance', 

'waste of space', 

'you will never amount to anything', 

they would hiss at him through gritted teeth over and over again.
  
Things were very grim and life was filled with many knocks and bruises and 'I walked into the door' excuses.

 His class mates began to look at him with distorted eyebrows, when he shuffled by, eyes downcast.
They even nicknamed him 'Quasimodo', because of his hunched shoulders. 

'Oy, Quasi!' they would shout at him with curiosity, 'Come over here and talk to us!'
'Uh, sorry, no I cant, gotta rush,' he would mumble.
 

His teacher instead, began to look at him with strange, wide eyes and pursed lips.                                 A look he didn't recognize.
 

'Hey there, is everything okay,' she would coax gently, hunching down to try and get a look at his face. 'Do you want to talk about it?'
'Sorry, no I cant,' he would mutter.
 

The years passed in between a blur of physical and psychological beatings.
His grades diminished more and more, due to the headaches he always had. The swellings and the voices of his parents chanting in his head stopped him from being able to hear what the teacher was saying.
 

'Can you please look up and pay attention!' His Maths teacher would say, 'And can you tell me what the sum is?'
'Sorry, no I cant,' he would say.
 

'Could you repeat what I said back in English?' The french teacher would ask.
'Sorry, no I cant,' he would reply.
 

'Can you come up to the board and point on the map to where America is?' Asked his geography teacher.
'Sorry, no I cant,' he would say in a whisper.
 

In swimming class, his coach would encourage him to dive into the deep end, 
'Come on, it's easy!' he would shout over the splashing.
'No, I..I...cant!' He would croak amidst mouthfuls of water.

When he would arrive home, his school report crumpled and worn in his sweaty palms, his parents would snatch it roughly from him.
'I knew it!' His mother would hiss through gritted teeth. 'Just what I expected.'
'Pathetic,' his father would grunt. 'He is not capable of anything, he will never amount to anything.' He would add before turning and slapping him on the head with the words, 'What a failure you are!'

And so the little boy grew up, fulfilling all the words of his parents.
They were right, he would think. 

He was a 'failure' just as they said.

He drifted from job to job, his bosses becoming exasperated at his 'lack of motivation'.
 

They would say, 'We need you to step up to the plate now.'
'Im sorry, no I cant,
' was always his reply before he would loose his job.
He knew, it was that he just was not able to fulfill his duties properly.
 

He went on a couple of dates but they would say at the end of the night, that he was too serious, depressing or negative. He thought he was just being honest.
He did eventually have a girlfriend, for a few months. 

He liked her very much.
 

She was kind and loving.
She would lift his heavy fringe gently with her fingers and peer into his eyes.
 

'Let me in,' she would ask. 'No, I cant,' was his reply.
 

One night while they sat watching their customary show on telly, she turned towards him, playing nervously with the hem of her skirt.
 

'It is time we talked,' she said. 'I love you and I want to progress this relationship on to the next level, otherwise we will have to... go our separate ways.'
'I'm sorry...n...no...I c...can't,' he stammered.
 

She stood up slowly, turning once to look at him with brimming eyes, hoping that he would say something different, but he didn't.
 

So she walked away, shutting the door between them and the only love he had ever felt in his life.
And yes, he did love her. Totally.
Which is why he had to let her go. She deserved much better then a nobody like him. 

What could he ever do for her?  
She was smart, beautiful and full of life. She had everything to live for and the world at her feet.

He stared at the muted screen on the television. The flickering faces becoming those of his now deceased parents, jeering and laughing at him.
 

'Haha, she left you! Of course she did!' They screamed in his head.
'What else would you expect!'
His class mates, teachers and previous employers all crowded behind them on the little screen, banging at it from the inside.
'Let us out and into your head! We will teach you how to do it!' They shouted hysterically.
He tried the remote control but even when the power light went out they were still there,                 guffawing at him with psychotic eyes.
The voices filled his head, becoming louder and louder and he clawed at his ears in panic.
 

'No, I caaaant!' he screamed at the top of his voice, grabbing a nearby bottle and firing it at the television screen. It smashed into smithereens and the dark room went silent.

He got up with a weary sigh, walked out the front door, barefoot, leaving the wide open door creaking in the wind behind him.


As he approached the looming shadow of the city's bridge over the flowing river, he caught a glimpse of something moving. A dark silhouette stood perfectly still and tall, balanced on the railing.A silhouette he knew so very well.

The silence in his head was never as loud as this moment.  
The familiar shape suddenly began a slow motion free fall into the icy waters below as he raced without thinking towards it, diving over the edge at the same point where the figure was now being engulfed by the deadly waves.

The silence was smashed by the water hitting his ears and he grasped around desperately in the swirling cold waters, eventually his fingers touching a limp body.
A body normally so full of life, positivity and love. It just didn't seem possible. It was so wrong.

He clung on, fighting the waves with all his might, dragging the dead weight with him onto the shore.

'No please! Don't let her be dead!' he screamed at the heavens. 'It should be me, not her!!'
 

He pounded on her chest and exhaled deep gulps of air into her lungs, sucking in all the strenght he possesed and giving it without pause to the only woman he had ever loved.
 

'I'm so sorry,' he cried, 'I wont leave you, I promise! I will fight for us both!'
 

She coughed up the salty water, and sucked in the life giving air she desperately needed.
 

'You did it...you saved us both,' she replied in a whisper, 'Now, I want you to keep doing it. 

Can you? Can you do that?'
 


He wrapped his wet arms around her and looked her directly in the eyes for the first time, 
salty tears streaming down his face.
 

'Yes...Yes, I can do that,'
he said.

  
Written by Danielle Serpico 

For more on the subject of
believing in yourself and what you CAN do,
contact me on 086-3845299 or email neurocombatives@gmail.com
visit @  www,mindartblog.com
            www.therightmindclub.com
           

Friday, 20 July 2012

'Make believe or reality?...'

‘Make believe or reality?’



Looking into the eyes of a smiling baby,
I can see only innocence and pure joy.
Their ecstatic giggles are totally contagious and their sparkling eyes convey the sheer pleasure of being - simply... 'being'.


So what changes?....


When I was a little girl,
growing up in Italy, my daily existence was filled with joy, mystery, excitement and purpose.

Yes, I believed even then that I had a purpose.

At seven years of age, I would, with rosy cheeks and freckled nose, boundlessly convey to all who crossed my path how truly marvelous it was to be alive!

That was my purpose.

To bring joy and life into all who crossed my path, and I did it with sheer unadulterated gusto!

 I spent my winters in Rome, on my way home from school, singing without a hint of bashfulness.       
 

I would chant verse after verse of ‘Volare…oooooh, Cantare oooooh’, 
at the top of my voice, for all the exhausted commuters on the train, a delighted grin spreading from ear to ear, when -  
as always, I eventually got the whole carriage to liven up and smile (-:






I wrote 'Happy ever after' story upon story, and painted wildly colorful and unusual families of cats wearing every ridiculous outfit perceivable. My imagination was endless.

The hot summer instead, was passed playing in the fields in Roccasecca,
my grandparents country house.
When I was not being suffocated by my adoring Nonna’s ample bosom,
I would spend hours rescuing giant ants from a watery death down our leaky outside toilet.
Other times, I was found, knees in the hot muck, saving tadpoles from steaming puddles in the ditches,and carrying them lovingly to the small stream at the side of the house.

Nothing was ever not worthwhile.

Everything and everybody was worth saving and my ‘joy de vivre’ would spread like wildfire wherever I went.

 
Then things slowly started to change.

I began to ‘grow up’.

Things that previously I was applauded for, and smiled at in wondrous approval, now seemed to become more and more of a nuisance and a waste of time in the eyes of other people.


 Grow up, they would say, when I wanted to sing at the top of my voice.
Act like an adult they said, when I reached eighteen and was frowned at for dancing like a crazy girl without the influence of alcohol. (For some unfathomable reason, It seemed 'cool' to do it if you were drunk, but sober it was somehow childish! But that's another blog!)
Don’t bother, your wasting your time, they would say when I picked up the pretty snails - one by one, from my path and a crushing death.




(I will digress here slightly and suggest 
you go read this wonderful story also) 

The starfish...








Slowly, my innocent perception of life and all that I could do, began to fade. I started to listen and to care more about what outside influences said,
then my what heart spoke to me.


What others thought of me began to become more important then what I actually really thought myself.

Before I knew it, what I thought became the same as what others thought,
and I like the Borg in StarTreck became the collective,
no longer an individual.

I had conformed to the masses.


 I still had drive and ambition, but it was now influenced by what I thought (actually, by what others thought rather) I should be doing as opposed to what I wanted to do.

My previous childhood dream of becoming an artist, writing books and spreading joy and happiness was buried somewhere deep inside me.

My mother always used to say what a profound influence Gandhi had on me, after I sat, tears streaming down my face, in awe, watching his incredible story on the big screen.
But, I somehow, over time, forgot his message. A message that had previously been so intertwined with my own. Instead, I hid my childhood fantasy's in my diary and only allowed them out on the blank pages.

My life, took it's new course, I dropped out of Art College in my final year, to pursue a business venture. The years passed, and the dream faded, while I did all the stuff that I thought I should be doing. Stuff that I thought should make me happy. Things, like running my own business.

And, you know what, for a time I nearly believed I was.

This new persona of mine had taken over, and the old me had practically disappeared.

I had forgotten who I really was.

Then, lucky for me, life took it's course. And things changed.

Changes that felt scary, so scary. My comfort zones where challenged more and more.
My lovely safe familiar existence in this material world went down a new,
curving pathway, into a dark, crowded woods.


The journey was frightening and I wanted to run back many times,
but as time passed I began to get used to this new path,

I started to smell the air again, feel the breeze, listen to the birds and see the blue skies.

And I started to find my way once more.

 

In fact, during that journey into that dark woods, I found that little girl again.....and I brought her home. 

Now, 
she has taken out her little diary once more and is bringing those pages to life.

As Ghandi said, 'Be the changes you want to see in the world.'



So go and make those dreams become reality,

call me on 086-3845299 to know more,
or email neurocombatives@gmail.com
www.neurocombatives@gmail.com

Danielle x

Monday, 16 July 2012

'That four letter word...'


'That four letter word...'

What is stopping you from getting the life you want?

Maybe, you already have everything that you want, if so I congratulate you! However, if you are like many (probably most)...then there have been times that fears icy talons have had a grip on you, and have pulled you back from going out and achieving something you actually wanted.
So, I ask you....what was that 'fear' all about?

Was it...Fear of change? What's not quite so familiar? The great unknown? Or fear of being judged perhaps??...

Aristotle once said, 

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

Mmmm, well I guess if what other people think and their opinion of you matters to you so much then...as Aristotle said, its best you do nothing!

But.. be aware of the price you will pay for it as it will undoubtedly hold you back in all aspects of your life. 

If instead, you may be here reading this because you want to find ways to overcome it, then read on!

Below are some of the steps I advise that you use to melt away all that negative fear.

...Actually, before I continue, let me just clarify - 
there are very occasional times that fear can be a 'good' thing.
Like when it may be alerting you of something dangerous, it could manifest itself as a 'gut instinct', if so always make sure you listen to it carefully first before disregarding it,our 'tummy's' can tell us a lot if we pay close attention!


Anyway...this leads me nicely to the first of my points...Which is;

1 - Identify it:
Basically as I just mentioned above, listen to it carefully and evaluate it.

And remember Marcus Aurelius said'
'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

2 - Acknowledge it:
And surrender to it without judgement.
Instead, just sit with the feeling for a minute and you may notice after a while it will just start to magically evaporate!

The important thing here is to learn not to judge ourselves for any emotions that may come up. 

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' feeling. 
If you’re afraid, then you’re afraid, clear and simple. 

It is not wrong to be afraid, it is only a hindrance.

Eckhart Tolle author of The power of Now says this;

'I referred to asking ourselves "How am I doing?" as "the death question", 
because it takes us out of the flow of life and back into the morass of our judgmental thinking about ourselves. 
Whether we call this self-consciousness "the ego", our "personal thinking", "the self", or simply "me", trying to live up to an image or ideal of what this "me" should be like is the single most draining, stressful, and ultimately futile things we spend our time and energy on each and every day.
'

3 - Make the decision to change and 'Act' accordingly:
This one is a very important one. 
Sounds simple and 'act'ually it is :-)
Once you 'consciously' make the decision to change, then that's already half the battle sorted.
Often one extra little degree of difference is all it takes to make massive differences.
Think about water... 
  
At 211 degrees F, hot water can make a good cup of tea, but if you heat it by one extra degree then you can power a locomotive with steam!
If a pilot veers one degree south or west off his designated flight plan he could end up flying into some very high mountains instead of landing nice and safely at his planned destination!

So PLAN TO CHANGE right NOW!

As an NLP Practitioner, I know that what I tell my brain to do, it will then follow the instructions I have given it.

As my favourite quote on the front of my diary says,

'You are that on which you feast your mind' by the Little Prince
(a wonderful book that everyone should read by the way).





Our 'unconscious' mind, you see, does not know the difference between what is real and what is not, so if you 'decide' to change (even if we are not fully convinced at the time) the 'unconscious' will take this on board.

If you’re not fully convinced then…Try this...

Imagine that you have a lovely, fresh, juicy lemon in your hand, right before your eyes. Imagine rubbing the texture with your fingers, squeezing it tightly so that a little juice squirts out. Now, imagine biting into its skin and tasting the bitter juice....
  
Did you experience anything? By any chance did your mouth start to water a little or did you squeeze your eyes shut or pucker your lips at all? 

My bet is that you did!

You see...The conscious mind (the logical, analytical one) knows that
 there is no lemon and it's only your imagination but the unconscious mind (the illogical) believes whatever is in the conscious mind and since our behavior is ruled by the unconscious, it automatically results in your mouth watering!

Most of our mental processing is done at the unconscious level. With a few rare exceptions, the conscious mind of most individuals has an upper limit of about nine streams of information that it can track at one time. For most of us it is somewhere between five and seven.
 
The unconscious mind however can track millions of bits of data at once, and with ease. Like an iceberg that only shows its peak above water (think of that as the conscious part) there is much, much more of it hiding under the surface (the unconscious).
When we tell the conscious mind over and over that a certain thing is true, the unconscious mind will then start to act accordingly also. It will align with the beliefs of the conscious mind. If the conscious mind regularly says that all black dogs are vicious, then the unconscious mind will kindly start to provide a fear response that will fire anytime a black dog comes near.

4 - Small steps to change –

Ghandi said,
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

Make the decision to change & be proactive every day.
Take it one little step at a time.
Set small easily achievable goals every day.

Inaction will only breed doubt and fear, action instead will breed in you confidence and courage. If you want to overcome your fear, don’t sit at home, thinking, dwelling and procrastinating about it.
                                      Go out and get busy doing and living!

5 – Move outside of your comfort zone –

‘Never be afraid to try something new.
                  Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.’
Every day do small things that you would not normally do because of fear holding you back. Start off small and you will see how quickly your confidence grows.
Talk to guy you would normally avoid and soon you will find yourself joining that group you have spent the last three months procrastinating over!
Most of all do things that are fun!

Once you start to make these changes you will also start seeing the world differently. Your changes will change the world.
If you change how you think, that will change how you feel and that will undoubtedly result in what actions you take, right?
And so the world around you will change also.


6 - Visualize:
If you knew you could not fail what would you do differently?
What would the house you would live in look like? The car you would drive? The partner you would have? Your dream job? Etc etc…

See it big and bold in full colour,
hear the sounds, feel the emotions it brings up, smell it, taste it.
Are you there yet? Have you got the picture??

Brilliant, because that’s NOW programmed into your unconscious and if you have been paying attention and have read the above then you know that your mind is now doing everything it can to get you that. It is now playing on the same team as you!

So keep imagining and go do it NOW!

If you would like more on this, call me at 086-3845299 or email

To your Success!!!
Danielle x 
Your Mind Coach
Change your Mind and Change your Life!








Necessity or Not?


Necessity or Not?


As I sipped my morning Cappuccino attempting to wash away the cobwebs of my mind, 
I began my usual sleepy plan for the day ahead.

'Things that I have to do today...' I started to write in my notebook. 

But on this day, there was a word in there that caught my attention. A word that niggled at me.

'Have'....

A word that we are programmed from a young age to often dislike.
Our parents, our teachers and our elders may have used it often, and after a while we began to prickle and fight against it.
'Have to' started to feel like it always came from an authoritative figure - an order, so much so that we often began to rebel against it.
Even into old age that word still results in a negative reaction in many.

Simply using that word on yourself will push you further away from what you want to achieve.
Your unconscious programming picks up an all the other memories and connotations that are associated with it, 
and signals to your conscious mind to steer well away.

So... is there a better word that I could use?

I could say........ 'need' or 'should'.....but they sound quite similar to 'have' don't they? 
Do they all stir up similar emotions or reactions in you?
Do they cause your skin to prick or the hairs on the back of your neck to tingle?

So maybe, instead... how about.....

'Things I want to do'...... that sounds so much better to me anyhow. That results in me grinning and giggling!

'Have' to or 'want' to? 

Some are a necessity, some I guess not quite as pressing, however, 
the things I 'have' to do are no-where near as enticing as the things I 'want' to do.

Although, when we actually start to analyze it thoroughly, how much of it is a 'real' necessity?

Of course, you may have to go pay some bills at times, do the shopping, clean the house....occasionally... (-: 
And what if you did all these things with gusto instead of distaste, how much better could that be?
Do we need to be miserable doing things, just because we have given them the title of a 'chore'?
Well, how about we take the title away and just choose instead to enjoy the experience.
Is it that easy? I fully believe it is. In fact I know it is.

(Read my blog on 'Choices' if you haven't yet!)

Can you think back on a time that you enjoyed an experience that at many other times you might dread?
For example, shopping for a dinner party you are hosting with your best friends coming.
Paying the final bill off a long standing loan.
Emptying out a spare room to make room for your new swanky pool table.

What was different on these occasions? Why did you enjoy it then?

It was simply, your frame of mind at the time.
How you had prepared yourself mentally. How you viewed it.
How you had anticipated the event in advance. In a more positive light.
You had programmed your mind to enjoy the experience because it was an event that you gained something from.
Excitement & anticipation had led you to enjoy something that at other times seemed mundane.

So, what if the next time you need to do a job you are not so much looking forward, 
you search for something positive about doing it instead?

It could be something as simple as, the fact that you have the money to go shopping, 
you could be grateful for the choices you will have in picking out all the lovely food you want to eat.
Or, concentrating on the feeling of pride you get when paying your way and sorting out a bill. 
Or, the satisfaction of a job well done after cleaning your kitchen and the beautiful fresh smells that invigorate you.

There are endless examples, it is up to you to re-train your mind to dwell on these thoughts.
You will find it becomes easier and easier a lot quicker then you think!

Back to now then, what are you doing?

Are you sitting at a desk right now, reading this, trying to conjure up some magical inspiration,
rather then maybe doing something you think you 'should' be doing?

Wouldn't it be great if you were always actually doing exactly what you wanted to be doing??

Reverend Howard Thurman put it like this, 

"Don’t ask what the world needs – ask what makes you come alive and go do that. 
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 
 
So.....I ask you now...the following..

What makes you come alive??
What would you do all the time, if you could?
What would you do, if you knew you could not fail?


Experience shows that these are very powerful questions.
Questions that sometimes, we do not ask ourselves often enough or sometimes...ever!


These questions serve a specific purpose.
They serve to direct the mind in the direction that you want to go.
The same way as when driving, you steer the car so it results in the arrival of your required destination,
so too, your mind is a tool that needs steering.
Without you at the wheel to control it, it may loose its way and end up knotted up and lost in the cluttered tumble weed of your brain.
"The brain can be developed just the same as the muscles 

can be developed, if on will only take the pains to train 

the mind to think." -Thomas A. Edison

Therefore, my suggestion is we use it and take control of our life's journey....


One of my favorite Richard Bandler NLP quotes is a great metaphor on this exact subject,


"The time to get the map is before entering into the woods."


So go get your 'map' right NOW and start planning your trip...
and remember to choose to always enjoy every step of the journey!

For more information & advice on how to get your map, 
call me on 086-3845299 or email neurocombatives@gmail.com
To your success,

Danielle  x

(Life Coach, Motivational Mentor & Certified NLP Practitioner)